Tag: life

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May I look back fondly… and look forward in wonder.

The tears I’ve cried over the past month and a half have been weird. Things inside of me I didn’t even know were there to cry about.

But crying is good… it is the only way through it.

Tears of joy, anger, regret, pain, change, acceptance.

I have never experienced this type of pain before. And there a lot of things I wish I could take back. Things I’ve done. Things I’ve said. Things that were misinterpreted on my behalf and others.

Many times has my heart been broken. But I have to acknowledge every part in order to heal. Forgive those who hurt me and ask for forgiveness from those that I hurt. And most importantly forgive myself.

But that’s life. You change. You cry. You learn.

I guess you really have to open yourself up to pain in order to see the forest for the trees. Life is expansive if you are willing to feel and see everything in it.

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The sweetest part of this journey so far has been motherhood and as equally the hardest.

I often wonder if I’ve done a good enough job at it. I try to take into consideration a lot of things. Their emotional wellbeing and their quality of life. Those things are most important to me.

I will say that their Dad and I have worked really hard at maintaining peace and love as we transitioned our lives during separation and divorce. And I can say with confidence that the children are happy and well adjusted.

We really worked hard at it. And I thank their Dad for giving me the opportunity to be a Mom. I especially thank him for being so kind and loving and present throughout the transition of our conscious uncoupling. We really nailed it.

He will forever be my significant co-parent and I keep that sacred to my heart.

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This Mother’s Day has been bittersweet but damn… look at those three beautiful and happy children. I am so thankful for all the emotions that have come with it. 🤍

Precious Moments of Motherhood. 🤍 Keepsakes. Their outfits coming home from the hospital.

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This is my last post on this blog. I’ll never delete it because I want to remember how life used to be. But like all great things… there will come a time and place when you have to move on.

May I look back fondly… and look forward in wonder.

🤍K.

Co-Creating life feels like a New Moon 🪶✍🏻🪽

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Co-creating life feels like… a new moon.
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New Moon in Taurus…
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grounding down a whole new foundation…
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will write a little… AM blogging…

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Channeling. Yes.
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I do not own the rights to this song…
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But I do have the gumption to whip my hair back and forth. Might get lost in the 6th dimension…
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🪶✍🏻🪽

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This feels like a new beginning. Truly. Thought about writing about last month on here… in particular the energy around last months Full moon. Maybe I’ll share later. Maybe I won’t. But I have it written down in my journal. My thoughts. I keep them. .

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Something I learned from my family members. They all keep little notes and journals and stuff written down to remember. I find it… enchanting.

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I’m in a unique position. A TRUE new beginning. I’ve grown older.. and as they say wiser. I can confirm the wisdom as much as I am fully capable of understanding it. I still have so much more to learn and I don’t really know shit.

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I can confirm that I have grown so much over the last four years… I see it in the way that I walk now. It’s.. different. I had to learn A LOT. Still… more.. to come.

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I can confirm that life is expansive… and my God… the possibilities are… as they say… ENDLESS.

Glory be to ALL

<—————K

🩸It’s Giving Harriet

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“Despair has its own calms.” -Bram Stoker (Dracula).
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Got to journal and reflect on last month //sitting on the front porch listening to reggae// Felt good. Did a bit more reading and felt seen by Johnathan Harker as he wrote in his diary about Shakespeare writing about Hamlet’s desire to write everything, that he could, down in detail.. on his tablets. //Harker’s diary was that of the likings of Hamlet’s tablets// me, with my thoughts & phone… 📱 and paper trail.
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It’s giving Harriet.
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The Spy… that is.
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The ways in which we have evolved is astonishing.

🩸K.

Dracula 🤍 An Open Journal.

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Dracula…

(part in shorthand)

The synchronicities that are unfolding, before my eyes, feel like great wonders being realized.

Our evolutionary growth in a world that is technologically (& progressively) changing feels like a swirl of energy moving upward -like the Fibonacci Sequence spiraling towards a higher vibration.

I feel lucky to have lived in the last 4 decades. witnessed 4 very different worlds. & lived countless lives.

I think of a time when I was just a baby -lending my trust to my mom to take care of me and believing in her that she would. And she did.

I think about how many mothers had to come before her -the ones who survived our mother’s lineage and entrusted us to carry it on.

We were the ones that survived.

I think of a time when I was just a young girl. Innocent. Sheltered. Naive. I got teased a lot and was often called a prude. or too skinny. Or too shy.

I remember writing letters in class or writing letters to my friends while we were away for the summer. some of us at summer camps. VBS. Or their grand parents. We kept in touch through writing.

I remember when the internet was invented. When AOL became a thing. Group Chats. Dial up internet. It was rad. And we would huddle together in front of a computer to sign-on and see if our crushes were online.

Then came email. And MySpace. Moving. Keeping in touch now by letters in the mail and online socials. online socials was a gift. to someone like me who grew up all over the world. I was gifted a chance to stay connected to my friends from elementary, middle, and high school.

I don’t live in a home town where everyone still lives. I never really had one. But… I have pictures and letters and social media that sort of makes up a home town for me. I get to see them regularly and that is pretty dang special.

And well, Savannah has rooted in me. So I call her HOME. Family and friends all over the world.

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I remember a time when we just had to go to the library and look things up in the Dewey Decimal System to find books or to open up an encyclopedia.

Books. Words. Pictures. Those are the things we use to gain knowledge for our evolutionary growth. Through history and projections forward. Seeing patterns and predicting outcomes.

Finding faults in our ways… then seeing how to move forward and transmuting.

But books… they serve well for all times sake. They are timeless.

Dracula. The first two chapters are journal entries by Johnathan Harker as he recounts what he had for supper, breakfast, and other meals. It was like taking a trip through the mind as you visualized each meal in detail as if you could touch it.

A written description.

That was the way of how we shared. Through books. ironically, even before the internet, we still had a fascination with sharing what we eat!

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Now, with social media & blogging, I can journal what sweet messages I got with my afternoon tea and share it technologically & instantly …should I choose to.

And I love the little things. and capturing it! It feels like an OPEN JOURNAL for me. 🤍

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I love to be friends on the internet. And I like taking pictures of things and writing about them. even if it’s a plate of eggs. IDGAF. I’m gifted the opportunity to stay connected to my friends who are all over the world.

I get to keep memories this way. Should I ever struggle to remember who I am, I can look back at what I’ve done and all the happiest moments in my life (including that plate of eggs) to remind myself of who I am always becoming. The history of how I evolved. Plus, I get to experience my friends smiles and the paths that they chose. I get connection this way.

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And well, the becoming… That is where I am at. I’ve been gifted a second chance at life. And I can’t waiiiiiit to see what God, The Divine, The Universe has to bless me with!!!

I’m feeling like I’m GLOWING UP! 💎 and I love having an OPEN JOURNAL as a modern day digital philosopher and photographer and sonographer.

We are mirrors for each other! Show me yours and I’ll show you mine. And if we should ever cross paths, I hope you like hugs.

🤍K.

PS. Fun fact… King Charles is related to Count Vlad Dracula the impaler IRL. And you know how much I love The Royal Family!

Leisurely Lady or Lizard. 🦎

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Basking in the sun 🦎
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yesterday and today I sun bathed like a lizard. Yesterday I even thought to myself this must be what lizards feel when standing in the sun, knocking on the door of life, doing Qi gong. Ironic. Saw 5 lizards this morning. They must have known I was thinking of them. Been writing. Wrote a shit ton. Read a bit. Drank some coffee. Lounged about. Feeling like a Leisurely lady or lizard.

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I’m making headway.

In my hedge… in my garden of LIFE.

Learning and unlearning everything.

Finding what makes me full.

Budding &

Preparing for my blossoms.

🤍♾️K.

Full Moon in Virgo 🤍💧🤍

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Full Moon in Virgo 🤍💧🤍

Illuminating

LOVE.

Charging crystals & Water.

Calling in

COMMUNITY.

Researching & Planning.

The more you know… the better you’ll do.

🤍♾️K.

2.22.2024 ☀️✨💛

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Todays Walk

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“May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true” Enya
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So many 2’s today. 2.22.2024 Take it even further.. and reduce it down all the way turning the 4 into TWO 2’s and you get a 2222222. ALIGNMENT! Mark sent me and the girls this memory today. It was from 2.22.2020, which was an all 2’s day too. Significant to me, as it served as a reminder that I am in alignment. A sign. A confirmation. I needed it too. Especially when I woke up feeling restless for a change and needed to be reminded that some things just take time… have patience. I know in my HEART that the current steps I’m taking right now to prepare for the second half of my life are in harmony and is centered around commUNITY. What’s even more precious is that this picture of the yoga studio owner days was taken in between the time I had a miscarriage and then 3 months later got pregnant with Willem. It was posted around the time I did get pregnant with Willem. My guess is January 31st, 2020 was when Willem chose to pick me to be his Mom. That picture is so sweet. I might have been pregnant with the first baby, or in between, or I could have been pregnant with Willem in it… my memory is foggy because it was a traumatic time, a lot of things were happening… but any of those scenarios would still hold significance to having the SUN/SON in it… each one taking its own timeline. Timelines. What a crazy concept. But in factuality there are limitless possibilities that are ALWAYS available and it takes one decision you make that determines which timeline you choose to be on. You alone create your path. That’s pretty powerful. I’m so excited to see my path start to unfold into the beautiful flower that is ME. I get to choose how the SECOND half of my life goes. CommUNITY. KULA. Community of the Heart. Everything always reveals itself to you when you are ready. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

🤍♾️K.

Come to Me 🤍♾️

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Fitzgerald, Georgia

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Family

I have these great big tears welling up in my eyes…

Ones I’ve felt many times before.

It’s a certain type of JOY… those tears… BIG.

As I recall my Aunt Chris dropping the best -well wishes- line I’ve ever heard, “Joy go with you.” I’m reminded of my own Divinity and ability for having compassionate understanding of others.

Not all will walk the same path I have, or even understand it… and some may not share the same compassion, but I can still wish them well… and I do.

To feel your family joyfully & energetically as they testify their love for God. the Lord… how could you not feel the lump in your throat grow ten times larger?

Angels are among us.

When you GET TO witness their compassion, their unconditional love, their own DIVINITY, you also get to witness their Christ Consciousness fill the entire room. It will make you cry…. Those BIG JOY tears.

To be reminded that your wellbeing truly depends on how much you sit with God daily, to pray, to be grateful, to say thank you as many times as you can, to listen and be open to Gods many little gifts and signs… you will begin to see ALL the signs you might have over looked and start to increasingly pick up on them faster.

I know that my time is limited here. I know that it is inevitable to grow. And sometimes that means outgrowing others. Whether that means they have outgrown you or vice versa.

The best thing I can do in those situations is to say to them… “Joy go with you.” so that we can all move on to the things meant for us.

Not all friendships or lovers or situations or jobs or even family will be with you forever… that’s just nature. Sometimes they are just there to show you things so that you can be better as you do move forward.

We are mirrors for each other in that way.

I’m at a choice point. Checkpoint Charlie. And I’ll have to make decisions on what choice I’ll be making. Remain the same… or grow.

I choose the latter. And I thank my family for reminding me of how to do it.

Praise be to God.

🤍♾️K.

PS. This is a call to find my people.

I’m looking for those who sing praises of each other.. that’s what I live for… The praises of each other. To be among those who talk about ideas and philosophies and good things.

I have no room for petty gossip that is none of my business. Politely I remove myself from that frequency and wish it joy as it goes.

I am open to expanding to higher realms of compassion. To surround myself with people of JOY. To sit among those who want to see each other raise in frequency.

To hold the hands of those who have suffered in silence and listen to their stories of how they overcame their own sufferings because it is a brave thing to open up about it. And to wish those who are still suffering some relief.

Just love each other where they are at. Love your neighbor.

PSS. There is a fine line between being judgmental and having discernment. There is a difference. Gossip is judgmental. Discernment is knowing that you really have no idea what others are truly going through, so it is best to just have compassion for them.