Fly. Okay then…I will.
This past New Moon fell on December 29th…in the midst of Mercury in retrograde. The day before I spent the afternoon on Tybee at the beach by myself. What I needed was to be loved. The trouble with my own loving kindness is that I’ve offered it up…many times. And there have been times when I have offered up my love and kindness only to find that it was never enough. Those times hurt the most…it is then when I have suffered from my own kindness the most. But I sat there…felt sad for lost friendships and lost loves…collected some sea shells and put them in a rosary pouch along with a rosary that some lady gave to my oldest daughter at my grandpas funeral…
And that night, when I got together with my moon goddess friends, I balled… crying like a baby when I blindly drew my goddess card for the lunar month…I drew Mary Magdalene. She came to me when I needed it…for two reasons. One for receiving unconditional love and one for remembering my Grandpa…two unrelated happenings. To make things clear…my Grandpa gave me nothing but unconditional love and the meaning of this card represents two separate things in my life…
If you don’t believe in the universe and the magic of it all…the synchronicities, the happenings, the reasons for it all, I would hope that this inspires you to do so…this is what it mean for me…
Firstly…Mary Magdalene represent unconditional love…something that I’ve been needing. Unconditional love. Say it again. Unconditional love.
On the card it reads: “Love yourself, others, and every situation – no matter what the outward appearances may be.”
In the book it says: “Don’t worry what others think or say. Heal this situation with love. Send love to those who have hurt or misjudged you. Forgive yourself for what you think you’ve done or not done. Release old unforgiveness toward others to help yourself heal and move on.”
Something I needed to hear and feel. Unconditional love. Say it again. Unconditional Love. So I suppose the only thing left to do is fly…heal and move on.
I cried…again thinking about lost friendships and lost loves…
And then secondly…I thought about my grandpa and this strange pull I’ve been feeling to go to church at St. Anne’s Catholic church…
Then today on the way home from Florida I propped up my Mary Magdalene card on my dash board..snapped a pic of her and sent it to my goddess friends saying “Mary and Me”…and then thought of my grandpa again.
He was a devoted Catholic until the day he passed away…I was never raised Catholic, but my Dad was and my Grandpa…And while I’m thinking about him and the Catholic church and Mary Magdalene my dad texts our family group asking how old my Grandpa was when he passed away…strange that he texted it instead of just asking my mom next to him…but he asked that question in a group message…another sign.
My grandpa was 78 when he passed away…he waited for me to get to the hospital before he did…I watched him slip away by myself…my parents were living in another state at the time and were back and forth while my grandpa was in and out of the hospital. It all happened so fast…I just cried while they worked on him…while one of the doctors was saying “This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” But he was ready…he was ready to go home. They let me hold his hand after they couldn’t revive him and I knew he had already gone. I still think of him every day…and I know he is around me…and I think that he would want me to go to church…and I think that I will.
Love & Moonlight,
Kelly
Moving through things…finding peace…finding unconditional love…flying.
