Month: May 2024

🤍🪞🤍

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May I look back fondly… and look forward in wonder.

The tears I’ve cried over the past month and a half have been weird. Things inside of me I didn’t even know were there to cry about.

But crying is good… it is the only way through it.

Tears of joy, anger, regret, pain, change, acceptance.

I have never experienced this type of pain before. And there a lot of things I wish I could take back. Things I’ve done. Things I’ve said. Things that were misinterpreted on my behalf and others.

Many times has my heart been broken. But I have to acknowledge every part in order to heal. Forgive those who hurt me and ask for forgiveness from those that I hurt. And most importantly forgive myself.

But that’s life. You change. You cry. You learn.

I guess you really have to open yourself up to pain in order to see the forest for the trees. Life is expansive if you are willing to feel and see everything in it.

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The sweetest part of this journey so far has been motherhood and as equally the hardest.

I often wonder if I’ve done a good enough job at it. I try to take into consideration a lot of things. Their emotional wellbeing and their quality of life. Those things are most important to me.

I will say that their Dad and I have worked really hard at maintaining peace and love as we transitioned our lives during separation and divorce. And I can say with confidence that the children are happy and well adjusted.

We really worked hard at it. And I thank their Dad for giving me the opportunity to be a Mom. I especially thank him for being so kind and loving and present throughout the transition of our conscious uncoupling. We really nailed it.

He will forever be my significant co-parent and I keep that sacred to my heart.

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This Mother’s Day has been bittersweet but damn… look at those three beautiful and happy children. I am so thankful for all the emotions that have come with it. 🤍

Precious Moments of Motherhood. 🤍 Keepsakes. Their outfits coming home from the hospital.

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This is my last post on this blog. I’ll never delete it because I want to remember how life used to be. But like all great things… there will come a time and place when you have to move on.

May I look back fondly… and look forward in wonder.

🤍K.

Co-Creating life feels like a New Moon đźŞ¶âśŤđźŹ»đźŞ˝

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Co-creating life feels like… a new moon.
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New Moon in Taurus…
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grounding down a whole new foundation…
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will write a little… AM blogging…

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Channeling. Yes.
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I do not own the rights to this song…
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But I do have the gumption to whip my hair back and forth. Might get lost in the 6th dimension…
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🪶✍🏻🪽

—————K

This feels like a new beginning. Truly. Thought about writing about last month on here… in particular the energy around last months Full moon. Maybe I’ll share later. Maybe I won’t. But I have it written down in my journal. My thoughts. I keep them. .

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Something I learned from my family members. They all keep little notes and journals and stuff written down to remember. I find it… enchanting.

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I’m in a unique position. A TRUE new beginning. I’ve grown older.. and as they say wiser. I can confirm the wisdom as much as I am fully capable of understanding it. I still have so much more to learn and I don’t really know shit.

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I can confirm that I have grown so much over the last four years… I see it in the way that I walk now. It’s.. different. I had to learn A LOT. Still… more.. to come.

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I can confirm that life is expansive… and my God… the possibilities are… as they say… ENDLESS.

Glory be to ALL

<—————K

🩸It’s Giving Harriet

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“Despair has its own calms.” -Bram Stoker (Dracula).
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Got to journal and reflect on last month //sitting on the front porch listening to reggae// Felt good. Did a bit more reading and felt seen by Johnathan Harker as he wrote in his diary about Shakespeare writing about Hamlet’s desire to write everything, that he could, down in detail.. on his tablets. //Harker’s diary was that of the likings of Hamlet’s tablets// me, with my thoughts & phone… 📱 and paper trail.
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It’s giving Harriet.
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The Spy… that is.
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The ways in which we have evolved is astonishing.

🩸K.

Dracula 🤍 An Open Journal.

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Dracula…

(part in shorthand)

The synchronicities that are unfolding, before my eyes, feel like great wonders being realized.

Our evolutionary growth in a world that is technologically (& progressively) changing feels like a swirl of energy moving upward -like the Fibonacci Sequence spiraling towards a higher vibration.

I feel lucky to have lived in the last 4 decades. witnessed 4 very different worlds. & lived countless lives.

I think of a time when I was just a baby -lending my trust to my mom to take care of me and believing in her that she would. And she did.

I think about how many mothers had to come before her -the ones who survived our mother’s lineage and entrusted us to carry it on.

We were the ones that survived.

I think of a time when I was just a young girl. Innocent. Sheltered. Naive. I got teased a lot and was often called a prude. or too skinny. Or too shy.

I remember writing letters in class or writing letters to my friends while we were away for the summer. some of us at summer camps. VBS. Or their grand parents. We kept in touch through writing.

I remember when the internet was invented. When AOL became a thing. Group Chats. Dial up internet. It was rad. And we would huddle together in front of a computer to sign-on and see if our crushes were online.

Then came email. And MySpace. Moving. Keeping in touch now by letters in the mail and online socials. online socials was a gift. to someone like me who grew up all over the world. I was gifted a chance to stay connected to my friends from elementary, middle, and high school.

I don’t live in a home town where everyone still lives. I never really had one. But… I have pictures and letters and social media that sort of makes up a home town for me. I get to see them regularly and that is pretty dang special.

And well, Savannah has rooted in me. So I call her HOME. Family and friends all over the world.

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I remember a time when we just had to go to the library and look things up in the Dewey Decimal System to find books or to open up an encyclopedia.

Books. Words. Pictures. Those are the things we use to gain knowledge for our evolutionary growth. Through history and projections forward. Seeing patterns and predicting outcomes.

Finding faults in our ways… then seeing how to move forward and transmuting.

But books… they serve well for all times sake. They are timeless.

Dracula. The first two chapters are journal entries by Johnathan Harker as he recounts what he had for supper, breakfast, and other meals. It was like taking a trip through the mind as you visualized each meal in detail as if you could touch it.

A written description.

That was the way of how we shared. Through books. ironically, even before the internet, we still had a fascination with sharing what we eat!

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Now, with social media & blogging, I can journal what sweet messages I got with my afternoon tea and share it technologically & instantly …should I choose to.

And I love the little things. and capturing it! It feels like an OPEN JOURNAL for me. 🤍

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I love to be friends on the internet. And I like taking pictures of things and writing about them. even if it’s a plate of eggs. IDGAF. I’m gifted the opportunity to stay connected to my friends who are all over the world.

I get to keep memories this way. Should I ever struggle to remember who I am, I can look back at what I’ve done and all the happiest moments in my life (including that plate of eggs) to remind myself of who I am always becoming. The history of how I evolved. Plus, I get to experience my friends smiles and the paths that they chose. I get connection this way.

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And well, the becoming… That is where I am at. I’ve been gifted a second chance at life. And I can’t waiiiiiit to see what God, The Divine, The Universe has to bless me with!!!

I’m feeling like I’m GLOWING UP! 💎 and I love having an OPEN JOURNAL as a modern day digital philosopher and photographer and sonographer.

We are mirrors for each other! Show me yours and I’ll show you mine. And if we should ever cross paths, I hope you like hugs.

🤍K.

PS. Fun fact… King Charles is related to Count Vlad Dracula the impaler IRL. And you know how much I love The Royal Family!